


Les Amis Texts

by TheSecretFangirl



Category: Les Misérables - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Internet, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Crack, Drunk Texting, Fluff, I AM SORRY, M/M, Texting, Unresolved Sexual Tension, Wow, also maybe, but i never continue works, but if it's still there, from how they talk, i broke my pattern, i guess in a way?, i tried to prevent it, idk i might write more in this au, just base it on the assumption that, people text differently, someday?, sorry for all the ooc-ness, this doesn't even have a song lyric for title, warning for unintentional homophobia, who am I kidding
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-14
Updated: 2015-02-14
Packaged: 2018-03-12 06:49:27
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3347558
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSecretFangirl/pseuds/TheSecretFangirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Like the title says, this is just characters from Les Misérables texting each other. And if those texts result in some people getting together, right on Valentine's day, well, we are not exactly complaining now, are we?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Les Amis Texts

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xenobotanist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xenobotanist/gifts).



> Wow I never post un-beted works on AO3, but here you have it. I am sorry if this is utter trash, but it is very self indulgent, and ah, I couldn't stop myself while writing it. It was originally going to be a very short drabble, but there you have it... 2k of texts. Just fun texts, nothing else. I still can't believe I actually wrote this, tbh.
> 
> Oh and did I mention that this is a gift for [ Allie ](http://archiveofourown.org/users/alliewrites) who is an amazing person, and deserves all your love. I've been sending them headcanons and other things over the past few days, and they have inspired this piece in a way. Allie, I hope you enjoy reading this. This was written at 1am, so there is no way I can guarantee quality.
> 
> Also, this marks my first official foyer into the Les Mis fandom. Woo-hoo, I'm excited!  
> This fic uses a lot of emoji's, but they don't show up on the AO3 format, so I've provided descriptions of them in square brackets. Ugh that sucked so much, the emojis made the fic so much more fun, but AO3 wouldn't allow me *sigh*.  
> Also, three dots like this  
> .  
> .  
> .  
> denote passing of a indefinite amount of time, but not so significant that I have to specify it.

February 13, 2015. 10:00am

 _Courfeyrac changed the group name to “~~~LOVERS_ _❤❤❤_ _~~~”_

 **Enjolras:** Courfeyrac, WHY? Why would you change our beautiful group’s name to something as atrocious as that?

 **Courfeyrac:** no one tell him

 **Feuilly:** [monkey-with-hands-on-mouth emoji]

 **Combeferre:** [monkey-with-hands-on-mouth emoji]

 **Grantaire:** haha [monkey-with-hands-on-mouth emoji]

 **Enjolras:** STOP IT PLEASE LET ME IN ON THE JOKE

 **Grantaire:** oooh looks like someone’s mad

typing in all caps is so ooc for you

 **Courfeyrac:** haha true~~

 **Combeferre:** I feel bad for you Enjolras

Perhaps I will let you in on the joke

It’s not really a joke but…

 **Courfeyrac:** NO

 **Combeferre:** Enjolras

 **Courfeyrac:** STOP

 **Combeferre:** Have you considered

 **Courfeyrac:** HUSH

if u continue i might just slit ur throat

 **Combeferre:** Looking at tomorrow’s date?

 **Courfeyrac:** [scissors emoji]

[knife emoji]

(i want to send that red croxx emoji but i can’t find it dammit)

*cross

ugh

 **Combeferre:** Haha I told you to turn autocorrect on

 **Courfeyrac:** yeah but sometimes its stupid

I AM STILL MAD AT YOU BTW

 **Combeferre:** The deed is done

 **Enjolras:** Well, I just looked at the date. What’s so great about February 14 th?

 **Grantaire:** ah apollo, u wound me

 **Combeferre:** You wound me too, loser

 **Feuilly:** pls tell me u are joking enjolras.

there is no way you could not know

 **Bahorel:** hi just butting in, but even u can’t be that dense enjolras [sweaty/crying face emoji]

densejolras

haha

im so witty

 **Enjolras:** Oh wait

Oh

Ohh

Ohhh

Courf I get it now.

But it’s still pretty dumb.

 **Courfeyrac:** lmao

 **Grantaire:** enjy u gr8 big dumb ily xx

* * *

February 13, 2015. 10:27am

_@Golden Triumvirate_

**Enjolras:** Combeferre?

Courfeyrac?

Ferre

Courf

COMBEFERRE

COURFEYRAC

Please reply.

 **Combeferre:** What?

 **Enjolras:** Please tell me ily doesn’t mean what Google says it means.

 **Combeferre:** Well…

 **Enjolras:** ?

_Combeferre is typing…_

.

.

.

 **Enjolras:** Oh shut it, I am probably reading way too much into things.

 **Courfeyrac:** that u certainly are [wink+tongue out emoji]

 **Enjolras:** Thank you.

* * *

February 13, 2015. 11:39 am

@ _~~~LOVERS_ _❤❤❤_ _~~~_

 **Cosette:** So, since everyone is now aware that tomorrow is Valentine’s day, what are your plans?

 **Combeferre:** I’ll be spending it with my two great loves interferon alpha and beta.

 **Courfeyrac:** hush you nerd

 **Combeferre** : I speak the truth.

They are better company than you, anyway.

 **Courfeyrac:** im hurt ferre

[ loud-crying face emoji]

 **Combeferre:** Well…

I could always come over [smirk emoji]

 **Eponine:** *snicker*

 **Combeferre:** But interferons make better company…

 **Courfeyrac:** but i luv u more

 **Combeferre:** That’s true as well

 **Eponine:** [heart-eyes emoji]

aww you two

 **Courfeyrac:** so come over?

 **Combeferre:** No. [smirk emoji]

 **Courfeyrac:** tease

 **Combeferre:** You love me.

 **Courfeyrac:** that i do

so…?

 **Combeferre:** I’ll think about it

 **Eponine:** this is cliché but srsly guys GET.A.FUCKING.ROOM

 **Combeferre:** [smirk emoji]

 **Courfeyrac:** i hate that emoji

 **Combeferre:** [smirk emoji x3]

 **Courfeyrac:** you are the worse u realize that?

 **Combeferre:** You still love me.

 **Courfeyrac:** bae please come over.

pls

pls

pls

 **Combeferre:** Only if you insist.

 **Courfeyrac:** thank u master

 **Combeferre:** You know I love it when you beg for things. [smirk emoji]

 **Eponine:** [hands-on-ears-mokey emoji]

ewwwwww.... that was sth i did not want to know about u guys

 **Jehan:** Yeah, you wound my innocent ears

 **Bahorel:** innocent my ass [poop emoji]

 **Marius:** well to get back to the point, me and cosette are going to a movie

and then we’ll have a moonlight dinner

im cooking

 **Eponine:** Aww. How Romantic. [sleepy-face emoji]

coss really?

you did not just throw a pillow at me.

 **Cosette:** Of course I didn’t! Stop making false accusations.

 **Eponine:** well take that

 **Cosette:** Watch out!

.

.

.

 **Marius:** uhm guys… i think cosette and eponine have descended into a very violent pillow fight.

 **Courfeyrac:** ha

* * *

February 13, 2015. 12:01pm

@ _~~~LOVERS_ _❤❤❤_ _~~~_

 **Eponine:** pillow fight over guys. i won

 **Cosette:** Liar Liar Pants on Fire

 **Eponine:** i am not wearing any pants

 **Cosette:** Whatever

 **Eponine:** Anyway, my boyfriend has a lot of stuff planned for me, but he’s keeping it a surprise.

 **Cosette:** Shush you are as single as a nun right now.

 **Bahorel:** BURN!!!

 **Eponine:** [blank-face emoji] its still netter than a night w marius

*better

 **Grantaire:** says the one who had a humongous crush on him

 **Eponine:** FUCKER THAT WAS AGES AGO

 **Marius:** uhh??

 **Cosette:** go back the sleep darling this does not involve you/

 **Marius:** kay

 **Grantaire:** marius y r u asleep at midday

 **Marius:** i plan to be up all night.

im prepping

 **Eponine:** speaking of your crush taire..

 **Grantaire:** i have no crushes

 **Courfeyrac:** are u 100% sure?

 **Grantaire:** im as sure about it as im about the fact that im gonna get blackout drunk later tonight

goodbye

im set for the bar

 **Eponine:** aww poor bby

 **Jehan:** [downcast-face emoji]

joly, bou, chetta… do i wanna know ur plans for tmw?

 **Musichetta:** Not unless you want to details about

About

How

Loud

Joly

Screams

My

Name

When

He

 **Jehan:** I regret asking that question.

 **Musichetta:** [wink emoji]

* * *

February 13, 2015. 4:18pm

@ _~~~LOVERS_ _❤❤❤_ _~~~_

 **Feuilly:** So Enjolras, I hear you are a fan of 1D?

 **Enjolras:** Who told you?

Anyway, what about it?

 **Montparnasse:** GAY

 **Enjolras:** Who even added you to this group?

And secondly, why would your walnut brain even make that association.

Implying that liking a certain thing,

(which, okay, may be a problematic thing, but that's another issue)

makes one homosexual is very demeaning.

It contributes to the rampant homophobia in our society.

 **Montparnasse:** chill enjolras it was a joke

 **Enjolras:** No it wasn’t. It was a deliberate act of internalized homophobia.

 **Montparnasse:** whts funny is that u are not even trying to deny the gay rumor

 **Enjolras:** And I should do that because?

 **Montparnasse:** ur not gay?

gayjolras would be too hilarious

u are as ace as ur classes lol

 **Enjolras:** Thank whatever you may about my sexuality, I don't care.

But, I am against violence, or you would be dead right now.

Someone please educate this man.

 **Grantaire:** at ur serv e apollo

*servce

**Enjolras:** What the real, actual, fuck, Grantaire?

This does not help with anything.

I cannot deal with this right now.

I am turning off my phone.

When I log back on, he ought to be better educated.

 **Grantaire:** tut

i canT believe i mae apolo mad

 **Feuilly:** I am sorry for even bringing this up.

Trust me Enjolras, I did not mean to make you angry.

I was just curious.

And trying to change the topic on this group.

* * *

February 13, 2015. 4:32pm.

_@Golden Triumvirate_

**Enjolras:** WhY

WHY

WHY

It’s 2015 and people still try to make politically incorrect jokes.

Jokes, that I might add, belittle their intelligence.

The world is a terrible place.

 **Combeferre:** Relax Enjolras. At least Montparnasse is now a little bit better informed.

 **Courfeyrac:** yeah bud it’s kinda great that came up

maybe we could even discuss this issue in greater detail at our next meeting

 **Enjolras:** Yes, maybe?

But it was supposed to be on Sunday.

Which is the day after tomorrow.

And everyone is going to be high on love.

And we won’t be able to discuss anything.

Even you guys have a date planned.

I think?

 **Combeferre:** Enjolras, sorry we didn’t mean to exclude you, but we aren’t exactly going to be PG

 **Enjolras:** No, no that’s not what I meant.

I am happy for you guys.

I really, really am.

Go enjoy your day.

You have my blessings.

 **Courfeyrac:** thanks padre

 **Enjolras:** You’re welcome.

The world is still a terrible place though.

I think I need a drink.

Or twenty.

 **Combeferre:** ENJOLRAS ARE YOU OKAY???

YOU ALMOST NEVER DRINK

NOT EVEN ON CHRISTMAS

 **Courfeyrac:** do you want us to come over?

v r kinda together rn so we could hop by ur place?

 **Enjolras:** No, thank you, I am perfectly fine.

Don’t trouble yourselves on my behalf.

 **Combeferre:** You sure you are going to be okay?

 **Enjolras:** Of course! I am the master of okay.

 **Courfeyrac:** [thumbs-up emoji]

 **Enjolras:** I am really thankful for you guys.

What would I ever do without you?

.

.

.

On another note, I think I am going to get that drink.

It's still too early, but never mind.

Don’t worry, I’ll be fine.

 **Combeferre:** Oh Enjy

Take care.

* * *

February 13, 2015. 8:25pm

_@Golden Triumvirate_

**Enjolras:** CANN YOU PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND?

 **Courfeyrac:** no shut up

 **Enjolras:** HE CAN

OH MY GOD HE CAN

PAINTTTTT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND

 **Combeferre:** Are you drunk?

Oh who am I kidding, of course, you are.

This is typical drunkjolras.

 **Enjolras:** NO NO I AM JSUT A LILL TIPSY

HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED HIS EYES THOUGH

WHO CARES

HE DHATES ME

 **Courfeyrac:** omg

r u talking about who u think i am?

 **Enjolras:** R

YES

I AMM

TAKING BOUT R

I WANT TO RUN MY FINGERS

THROUGH HIS LOCKS

I CANT TEXT HIM

CAN I?

I LOVE HIM

I THINK

 **Combeferre:** Shit shit shit shit

Enjolras

Do you want us to come pick you up?

 **Enjolras:** NO I NEED HIM

ONLY HIMMMMMMM RIGHT NOW

 **Courfeyrac:** just tell us whr u r

i know u

v should pik u up

u will regret this in the morning trust me

 **Enjolras:** YOU ARE RIGHT COURF

AS ALWAYSS

COME PICK ME UP

IM AT THAT NEW PLACEEE

TE MUSAIN BAR

I RHINK

 **Combeferre:** Stay there.

We are coming to get you.

 **Courfeyrac:** if i knew all it would take for u to get ur shit together was to get drunk

i would have forced u to do it earlier.

 **Enjolras:** WINDY COLOS

ILL TE XT HIM

 **Combeferre:** Don’t!

* * *

Feburary 13, 2015. 8:37pm

_@Grantaire_

**Enjolras:** CN U DO ITT

PANNT

WITH ALL TH COL ORS OF

THE WINNNNNNNNNNNND

PAINT ME

* * *

Feburary 14, 2015. 8:46 am

_@Golden Triumvirate_

**Enjolras:** Please tell me I dreamed up all those texts from last night.

 **Courfeyrac:** sry to be the one to tell u but they are real

 **Enjolras:** No.

No they are not.

 **Combeferre:** Sorry Enjy, but they are.

 **Enjolras:** I was drunk. They mean nothing.

Courfeyrac: keep lying to yourself pinejolras.

 **Enjolras:** ?

 **Courfeyrac:** i smell [heart-eyes emoji and kiss-face emoji]

 **Enjolras:** No you don’t.

Drunk me was just making up stuff.

 **Combeferre:** It’s Valentine’s day. Just admit it.

 **Enjolras:** And what exactly should I admit?

 **Courfeyrac:** that u are in wuv w grantaire

 **Enjolras:** I am not.

 **Combeferre:** You so are!

 **Enjolras:** Prove it.

 **Combeferre:** Please. Go back and read some of your old texts.

Also, how do you feel now?

 **Enjolras:** Much better. I’m surprised I am not hungover.

 **Courfeyrac:** why did u even ask that ferre? u can tell by his tone that he is perfectly alright.

and for the love of god, stop lying to urself. get ur shit together

 **Enjolras:** I’m an atheist.

 **Courfeyrac:** (－‸ლ)

* * *

Feburary 14, 2015. 10:30am

@ _~~~LOVERS_ _❤❤❤_ _~~~_

 **Jehan:** HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY EVERYONE

I hope you all have days as amazing as you deserve.

LOVE FOR EVERYONE

 **Feuilly:** Thank you!

 **Jehan:** Who’s your date?

 **Feuilly:** A girl from work.

 **Jehan:** Cool

 **Feuilly:** wbu?

oh damn im sorry i forgot u were aro for a moment

 **Jehan:** np i like the idea of romance waaay too much for a person who’s not roman so you are excused

*romantic omg

im going to hang out at bahorel’s later tho

 **Feuilly:** nice! I guess we don’t want to hear anything about courf, ferre, musichetta, cosette, marius, joly and bousset’s day

 **Jehan:** Eww no I don’t want to think about my friends in that way.

 **Eponine:** So I guess that leaves Grantaire and Enjolras unaccounted for…

but we could meet at my house later in the evening?

and watch movies

while all those lovebirds do a rabbit

meanwhile, i am busy educating parnasse.

i had no idea he could be such a dick wtf

but he is new here so…

anyway i temp removed him from the group

be happy enjolras

* * *

February 14, 2015. 11:04am

_@Grantaire_

**Grantaire:** did u get shitfaced last night?

 **Enjolras:** Don’t.

 **Grantaire:** aww apollo

 **Enjolras:** You’re embarrassing me.

 **Grantaire:** u embarrassed urself [tongue-out/wink emoji]

bt r u up fr it?

 **Enjolras:** Up for what?

 **Grantaire:** me painting u

 **Enjolras:** I just spat out my coffee.

 **Grantaire:** naked

 **Enjolras:** OH my god.

 **Grantaire:** thought u were atheist

 **Enjolras:** That was a gut reaction.

You hate me.

 **Grantaire:** i do not hate u??/ wha made u think so?

 **Enjolras:** I can’t believe I am having this conversation.

 **Grantaire:** what’s so strange about it?

 **Enjolras:** I got drunk last night and admitted my undying love for you and you hate me and you are asking me what’s strange about it? You are impossible Grantiare.

Can’t believe I just wrote that.

 **Grantaire:** omg

oh my god

r u fr real?

 **Enjolras:** When am I not?

 **Grantaire:** ah shit

 **Enjolras:** This is too awkward, please forget it. I was overwhelmed with emotion and I am sorry if I made you uncomfortable. It doesn’t have to mean anything.

.

.

.

_Grantaire is calling Enjolras_

* * *

February 14, 2015. 1:43pm

@ _~~~LOVERS_ _❤❤❤_ _~~~_

 **Enjolras:** Oh Eponine! I am very, very happy.

Thank you very much.

**Grantaire:**

**Enjolras:** Ugh R why would you? This is gross.

 **Eponine:** this is supposed to mean something right? y else would u make that edit?

oh wait

is this

 **Jehan:** omg did u guys get ur shit together? Pls tell me that’s what ie means

 **Cosette:** Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Enjolras:** No comment.

 **Grantaire:** he’s at my house rn

 **Feuilly:** Well honey, we can’t exactly say we are surprised [smirk emoji]

 **Eponine:** we have been waiting for this to happen like 5ever

congrats guys

for finally getting sense in your heads

 **Enjolras:** Uhm, we confirmed nothing. But, thank you, anyway.

 **Bahorel:** 4 for u

 **Grantaire:** thank

 **Courfeyrac:** gosh ferre just read this and he literally jumped out of the bed

 **Combeferre:** Well, you all owe me 50 bucks each so I am about to get hella richer.

 **Bousset:** I THOUGHT YOU WOULD HAVE FORGOTTEN

 **Combeferre:** It’s not my fault I was the only one insightful enough to have seen this happening. You all had your money on next Christmas, at the very least.

I win.

I get money.

 **Courfeyrac:** do i have to pay you even if i date you?

 **Combeferre:** Sorry love, those are just the rules of the game.

 **Enjolras:** Wtf?

 **Courfeyrac:** omg swearjolras

 **Enjolras:** [flaring-face emoji]

 **Grantaire:** you should hear the way enj’s fuming right now

 **Enjolras:** No, really, you had a bet going on?

About how long it would take for Grantaire and me to get together?

 **Combeferre:** It's been _three_ years of unresolved sexual tension Enjolras. Sorry not sorry

 **Enjolras:** I hate you all.

 **Grantaire:** me too.

.

.

.

 **Grantaire:** or maybe I forgive you bc who would have thought Enjolras gives the world’s best kisses.

[lips emoji]

[lips emoji]

 **Enjolras:** Hush now, or you aren’t getting any more.

 **Grantaire:** i could always leak last nights texts u know

 **Enjolras:** Just you wait I’m going to make you pay back so hard if you even try to do that.

(pun not intended)

* * *

 **All the Amis:** [they each post some form of monkey-hands-on-eyes/ears/face emoji]

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, just a few things I have to say about the fic and my headcanons, in case they weren't evident.
> 
> 1) I've tries to keep everyone's texting style distinct and consistent, and if I did break that pattern on occasion, I am sorry.  
> 2) Jehan is aro, but not ace. His aro-ness is kinda based on mine, as in, both of us love the _idea_ of a romance, but wouldn't want to be in one ourselves.  
>  3) Enjolras is in love with commas. And he hates initially hates the notion that he might have feelings, cause ugh emotions, what are they?  
> 4) I'm not saying anything, but Eponine may be Feuilly's girl from work. Maybe, who knows, cause they aren't telling. .  
> 5) The interferon alpha and beta thing... it's a reference to Ferre being a med student. To tell the truth, I stole this line from one of my classmates. I am sorry, T, and in the very unlikely event you read this fic, please forgive my plagiarism.  
> 6) dom!ferre, sub!courf, anyone?  
> 7) Cosette and Eponine share a flat. Marius often spends the night over.  
> 8) Grantaire has some sort of speed edit app on his phone which is why he keeps making all these face-swap pics of Enjolras.  
> 9) Enjolras liking 1D? Even though it is probably yet another capitalist scheme or something? Idk I am not a 1D fan but I couldn't get the idea out of my head.  
> 10) Enjolras is the kind of atheist who rubs it in everyone's face.  
> 11) Also, all these x-jolras things? An internal joke among the amis.  
> 12) Oh, btw, Grantaire and Enjolras are so painfully obvious, I'm kinda surprised no one, other than Ferre placed his money on V day. Sexual tension ftw.  
> 13) I was originally going to use someone's fanart in this fic, and was going to pretend it was a pic that Grantaire drew. But since I wrote/posted this on such a short notice, I didn't really have the time to ask people for permission. Maybe I'll make an addition later.
> 
> If you are still here and have read all my notes, I love you for indulging me. I live for validation sometimes. Jk, I still love you all. Do leave comments/kudos/criticisms/whatever, cause they are a writer's bread and butter. Also if you find something problematic here, please tell me, because I am constantly trying to make myself a better person.


End file.
